How to begin flirting with someone online

Flirting with someone in real life can be tricky. However, it can be even more challenging to know how and when it’s appropriate to flirt with someone online – when you take body language, tone, and visual cues out of the equation. At the same time, the relative anonymity can make some things a little easier as your nervousness won’t necessarily get in the way of engaging in conversation with someone that you’re interested in. 

The bonuses of flirting online or via text are that you don’t need to worry about face-to-face rejection or the pressure of keeping up with initial conversations as it is perfectly acceptable to think about what you say before you press send. Here are a few tips to help you begin flirting with someone online and how not to come off creepy or annoying…

Start off by building rapport and a friendship with the person 

It’s best not to go in guns blazing. Rather build up to something more intimate or flirty once you’ve gotten to know the person a little better. Start off by asking how they are, how their day was, and general questions that will show them that you are genuinely interested in getting to know them. Keep things light in the beginning and don’t get heavy too quickly as this will almost always end up scaring the person off. 

Keep the balance

This tip is multilayered. First off, when chatting with someone, there is an important balancing act to master when you ask them questions. Be aware of how much you share about yourself. It’s good to be open and honest, but it’s important to not be the sole focus of the conversation. The best way to go about this is to find points of mutual interest so that you can both be equally engaged and interested. 

The other important part about keeping balance is to not become obsessed with the person or rather your idea of that person. Make sure that you continue to focus on other aspects of your life and not lose yourself in that person. It’s important to be completely yourself and not try to impress the person by being someone that you’re not. 

Be genuine, complimentary, and kind

Avoid being creepy by being overly complimentary or inappropriate. As you get to know them, showing some genuine kindness without strings attached goes a long way. Try not to focus too much on aesthetics in the beginning. Complimenting someone on the way they look is fine in small doses, especially at the beginning of an online relationship with someone, but it is much more meaningful to focus on the things that truly matter. 

Getting flirty

Once you’ve got to know them a little better and you feel a genuine and comfortable connection, you can begin to lightly tease and flirt in a way that is not completely overt. Their response will give you an idea of how they feel and whether you need to back off and focus on working on the friendship; it will tell you if the attraction is mutual. Patience is key. If they are interested, take your time and just go slowly. You can then interweave flirty messages with messages that deepen your connection.


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Written by Taryn Hill

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