If you’re at the point in your relationship where you feel like the flames are dwindling and conversations run dry, you need to try and reignite the love if you want to stay together. Keeping those deep, exciting and meaningful conversations as a part of your relationship is important if you want to stay connected.
It’s no secret that talking and communication is the key to a long-lasting relationship. Being so familiar with each other’s inner lives and thoughts is a trait of happy couples. But where do you start if you want to strengthen the bond?
Talking about daily routines, office politics and the kids is not going to establish a deeper bond, according to experts. Rather, you should start talking about deeper things like your hopes and dreams, as if you’ve just met. Here are some simple questions that can establish thought-provoking answers and a deeper love with your partner:
If you won the lottery…
A simple theoretical question about money can lead to some great conversations and give you a refreshed perspective of your partner’s dreams. “If you won the lottery, where would you travel?” – this opens up the conversation about adventures and bucket-list holiday destinations.
These questions are also a great place to start as they allow you to go deep, but without being too intense. Your partner might think you’re being weird if you suddenly ask an intense question out of the blue. Other options include “if we won the lottery, would we move house and why?” or “…how would you spend the money?”.
If you could be anywhere in the world right now…
Another hypothetical question that gives you a deeper understanding of your partner’s current mood and thoughts. “If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be and what would you be doing?” – this question allows you to show your curiosity about your partner’s deeper thoughts.
This is another great question to ask to kickstart conversation without being weirdly deep or dramatic. Keep the topic light and fun and you’ll be on your way to establishing a deeper bond in no time.
Remember that time we…
Memories are a great way to reminisce about all the great times you’ve shared and remind both of you why you love each other. “Remember that time we stayed up until sunrise watching the city lights” – by telling your partner your favourite memories, you can both bond over the nostalgia.
Sharing memories is also a great way to remind yourself that you can still have fun and create new lasting memories at any time. You can bounce ideas off each other and it will inspire you to be spontaneous. After all, most great memories come from those spontaneous moments of mischief and laughter.
If you could work at any job for a year…
This is another fun scenario-based question to try. “If you could work at any job for a year, what would you do?” – this question allows your partner to open up about work challenges and values. It can reveal your partner’s childhood dreams about what they wanted to do when they grew up.
Few of us actually end up doing what we dream of doing, so this question is an easy way to start a conversation about dreams and ambitions. Even if you think you know what your partner is likely to say, you may be surprised at their answer.
What’s your biggest stress this week…
This type of question will allow you to see what’s keeping your partner awake at night and perhaps allow you to provide some guidance or help. “What’s your biggest stress this week and how can I help?” – this allows your partner to get things off their chest and reach out for help if they need it.
By knowing what’s troubling your partner, you can deal with their emotions better and try to make life easier in some way. You’re better able to help them if you understand what’s worrying them, and this is great for building bonds.
What’s the one thing you want to be remembered for?
This question will re-establish your partner’s morals, values and codes. Although you probably know their morals and personality traits quite well, they may have changed since you started dating.
This question will allow you to see how your partner views themselves and defines their actions. It also shows that you’re still interested in getting to know your partner better and can start a conversation about their personality traits that you love.
How are you?
This might seem like the most basic and least deep question, but in fact, it can be the most useful question to ask if you want to establish a deeper love. When asked sincerely, “how are you?” becomes a door-opener for anything on your partner’s mind.
Listen carefully, pay attention and don’t interrupt their answer. Maintain eye contact and show them that you really care about their answer. This question is the best way to delve into their personal lives and open up new conversations. By really listening to their answer, you can go deeper and show them that you love them.
Try asking your partner some of these questions to kickstart the conversation and establish a deeper bond. Use variations of them if you want to make it more fun or more personal. Talking is the best way to stay connected with someone, so don’t let bad communication get in the way of your relationship.
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