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Ways to resolve conflicts in relationships

Conflict is a mostly unavoidable part of a relationship. It’s only natural that couples will have differences of opinion and be affected by stress and other factors that contribute to feelings of frustration. There is nothing wrong with the occasional argument but in order to maintain a healthy relationship it’s important to know how to resolve those arguments peacefully and respectfully.

It’s important to understand and respect the fact that your partner is going to have differences in opinion from you. You aren’t going to evolve and grow in a relationship if you aren’t able to learn from your differences. It is important to grow alongside one another and not to be so entangled that you suffocate and stunt one another’s growth.

Communication is key

One of the first steps to take that will support you both in resolving your conflicts is to always be open and honest with one another. When you can properly communicate with your significant other you will be able to understand where they are coming from. In order to resolve all future arguments in your relationship you need to be able to sit down and discuss what works and doesn’t work for you. By setting boundaries you will know how to avoid triggering one another. It’s absolutely vital to respect those boundaries and if, in the heat of an argument, one of you crosses a boundary it’s healthy for the other person to walk away and continue the conversation when both of you have calmed down.

Throw pride out of the window

Being too proud to back down, apologize and admit you’re wrong when it’s applicable is absolutely pointless and will only end up hurting you both. Being able to let go of your pride and to stop being so precious about your own opinion will go a long way in avoiding an argument that escalates out of control. If you’re arguing over something trivial it’s important to be able to step back and look at the bigger picture. Ask yourself if what you’re arguing about is really worth it. 90% of the time in healthy relationships it probably isn’t. Be okay with defusing a trivial argument by laughing at yourself. If your argument is over something fundamental and really matters to you or your partner, be respectful and acknowledge the other’s feelings and perspective. Neither of you should ever have to compromise your morals or beliefs.

Learn to master self-control

We all have patterns of behaviour that we have learned over the course of our lives and it is incredibly valuable to be able to see those patterns and break them when they’re no longer serving us. Mastering this ability will help you to be in touch with your emotions and to realize that you have the power to break the cycles that launch you and your significant other into the same old arguments again and again. Being present and aware when you are feeling frustrated and irritable gives you the opportunity to stop a potential argument before it even begins.

Be kind

Be compassionate, loving and kind to one another. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand where they are coming from. If you and your partner keep snapping at each other over every little thing it might be because there is a greater underlying issue that is not being addressed. Figuring that out together will put a stop to the petty, unnecessary bickering and help you both feel heard and acknowledged. Learn to step outside of yourself, without compromising your boundaries, and understand that on a fundamental level your partner may be feeling scared, overwhelmed or stressed. If you are able to be on one another’s side and have each other’s backs you will be able to resolve conflict effortlessly and in a way that really gets to the heart of the issue and works for both of you.

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Written by Taryn Hill

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